The Craft of Complimenting: What to Say and Not

Compliments are cute little things, aren’t they? Like one can randomly, out of nowhere, give one to someone, which by the way costs nothing(!), and the other’s day will be turned around and made! Just like that!

While many of us usually struggle to gracefully accept and own a compliment, we all enjoy receiving them though. I mean who doesn’t! Compliments can magically change the mood, flip a bad day into a slightly better one, boost self-esteem, roll up the confidence and bring huge smiles on anyone’s face, provided that they are kind, genuine, appropriate and appreciative. Throwing around compliments that don’t quite fit any of these can cause absolute opposite – drown down the mood, turn a pretty day into a terrible one, crush self-esteem, encourage self-doubt/hate and invite breakdowns. This serves as a big reality check for all of us as to how much weight our words carry and how many repercussions they can cause – sometimes good, other times real bad.

All in all, giving compliments is not as much of a no-brainer as one may assume. It in fact is a craft, an appreciation of all things beautiful and a token of kindness. Though art knows no boundaries or rules, complimenting has some. These in addition, in essence also stand true for any or every conversation or dialogue.

• So first things first, staying steer clear of What NOT to Say / Keep in Mind    
• Basic courtesy, refrain from giving any comments on body, gender, sexuality, or other things that are sure to or have even the tiniest possibility of making the other person intentionally/unintentionally uncomfortable/awkward in the name of ‘compliments’. Maintain appropriate decency. 
• Any and every person is more than just a body. Constant compliments on merely body or other physical attributes aren’t the best thing. Try to look beyond what you see. You can compliment on so many other things – their personality, traits, values, good habits, work, art to name a few.     
• It’s very important to recognize, respect and abide the thin line between constructive criticism/ comments made ’out of care’ and straight up being mean, rude and disrespectful. Constructive criticism and helpful advices are delivered with good intentions, respectfully and with care.  
• Avoid making comments that are negative altogether. It’s better to stay sush instead of blurt rude/hurtful remarks. Resort to ignorance if you don’t like something or consider it wrong. It’s bliss.
• Don’t give a compliment to get one back or simply for the sake of it. Mean it, it’s free anyway. Genuinity is quick to be identified and felt. Find happiness and satisfaction in making someone feel good about themselves and happy.